Thursday, February 21, 2008

Doom, fucking yankees edition

Billy Joel has just added a second concert bidding farewell to Shea Stadium. That means that the first Shea concert has sold out. Nice job, Yankee fuckheads. Don't you have anything better to do in your cesspools and cages than to encourage Billy Joel to do anything other than commit suicide in a slow, painful, and humiliating way?

The two concerts are being called "The Last Play at Shea, from the Beatles to Billy." What a fucking insult. If you had any integrity whatsoever you'd be seriously considering moving out of New York right now. Better to live among rednecks and hillbillies than people who would pay to hear Billy Joel play music.

34 comments:

bones said...

Ha, I was driving to lovely scenic Ronkonkoma Long Island last month and it never fails to happen. As i drive on the Long Island Expressway at every exit I am reminded of that damn BJ song that lists all the towns on LI. So single handedly he has ruined a portion of NY for me, I refuse to allow him ruin Queens too.

Spiros said...

Chill out. He didn't start the fire, dude.

He must be stopped.

bones said...

OK question,

If you had to pick one song from Billy Joel, as his best or shall I say least offensive song, What would you choose?

Spiros said...

"A Matter of Trust" is least offensive, but still pretty fucking awful.

bones said...

interesting.

my choice is Pressure.

Spiros said...

"Pressure" for *LEAST* offensive??? Are you fucking KIDDING? That's one of the most ANNOYING songs of ALL TIME!!!!

bones said...

just picture the keyboard parts replaced with a tin whistle and all the drums replaced with bongos! thats what i'm talking about!

seriously, i think it could be redone well, by someone else of course

Spiros said...

But does it count in *favor* of an artist that *someone else* could do their work better?

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

The only 45's I owned back in the previous century were "Pressure" and "Mr. Roboto" and those songs will live together forever as a mash-up in my mind: Roboto Pressure.

bones said...

I think it equals out, one strike for and one against. the strike against being *the person was outshined by there own song*
I, by no means, like the song. I just believe it can be made palettable by someone else.
not like that old sea shanty he does, the downeaster alexa. that is the song that offends me the most

Spiros said...

Roboto Pressure sounds like a nightmare.

BONES: I hear you. Maybe you're right. The worst Joel song, in my view, is Uptown Girl.

bones said...

...and "We will all go down together" like anyone wants to hear a musical account of his man on man antics

Anonymous said...

Hey Spiros- I doubt that you would ever have the balls to spew your crap to Billy Joel if you ever met him. I would love to see Joel ( a former welter- weight boxing champion ) whack the living shit out of you in the grand old New York tradition. Who gives a fuck what music you don't like ? Blogging bullies like you are all the same - big brave blowhards in cyberspace, and limp-dicked cowards in reality. You are obviously a failure in your own miserable life.

bones said...

sounds like a BJ fan

Anonymous said...

Hey Bones- by the way, Fuck you too.

bones said...

Whats up Anon? when we hanging out again?

Anonymous said...

Anytime you say, dickhead.

bones said...

How about Shea Stadium at the BJ concert?

Anonymous said...

Oh I'll be there. But why would you if you're so offended by this music? In any case I can arrange to meet up with you and your asshole buddy, Spiros if you're serious. Want specifics?

bones said...

You can't miss me, I will be the one holding the "Billy Joel wears a merkin" sign

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Spiros is limp-dicked? Nah, I'm betting instead that he's got a raging hedon right now.

Anonymous said...

Okay Bones, if you want to pay too much money to a scumbag scalper for your ticket, by all means - go ahead. I was going to invite you backstage so I could have the pleasure of seeing your stupid face in person, but if you want to locate me, I'll be onstage during the show,looking for your dopey little sign. I'll be the one playing the piano. Don't believe me? Listen to the dedication before 'Big Shot' towards the end of the concert.

bones said...

is it dedicated to "anonymous"?

Anonymous said...

No. I'll be dedicating it to you and the original shmuck, Spiro. All I need to know is which night you'll be there......July 16th or July 18th. Your choice.

bones said...

schucks, I would be honored Mr. Joel

Anonymous said...

You still haven't specified which night.

Spiros said...

The Courageous ANON says:

"I doubt that you would ever have the balls to spew your crap to Billy Joel if you ever met him. I would love to see Joel ( a former welter- weight boxing champion ) whack the living shit out of you in the grand old New York tradition."


SPIROS replies:

Anon thinks that the following inference is valid:

1. Billy Joel could kick Spiros's ass
2. Therefore, Billy Joel's music doesn't suck.

What a genius she must be! To me, this looks like a failed inference if there ever was one. But I must be stupid, given her additional inference:

1. Spiros doesn't like BJ's music.
2. Therefore, Spiros is a "failure in [his] own miserable life"

Another feat of logic! You really are very smart. But note the following:

1. Mike Tyson could kick Billy Joel's ass.
2. Therefore, Mike Tyson's music doesn't suck.

Good luck with that...

Note also that if I am, indeed, a "failure in [my] own miserable life," then my life must not be miserable! For to *succeed* at my "own miserable life" is to succeed at making it miserable. But you say I *fail* at being miserable! You're right! Thanks!

But, again, that your conclusion is true does not mean that your inference is any good. In fact, all of your inferences are utter failures. Maybe someone could buy you a logic book for your 15th birthday?

Spiros said...

Anon,

A crucial question, if I may: Will Billy be arriving to Shea by limo, or will he be just drunk-driving himself there? Curious.

Anonymous said...

F.Y.I. I have never been accused of, arrested for , or convicted of drunken driving. And your dime-store psychobabble is considerably less mature than the logic of a 15-year old. It does nothing to negate your original hateful posting which reeked of testosterone-"He must be stopped." No wonder I thought you were a man. I don't like threats from anyone, male or female. But my offer to invite you to vent your spleen in person still stands, if you've got the guts. ( since balls no longer apply ) This can be arranged. I await your reply.

Spiros said...

The Brave Anon describes my complete dismantling of her previous post as "dime-store psychobabble" and then she says that it "is considerably less mature than the logic of a 15-year old."

This is know as the *fallacy fallacy*. It consists in accusing your interlocutor of committing a fallacy, but then not bothering to identify the fallacy or explain it. to be sure, "dime-store psychobabble" is an inept characterization of how I refuted her attempted arguments. For there was no imputation of anything psychological in it. Where Anon fails is in *reasoning*, and the failure consists in presenting propositions which bear no relation of implication to each other as if they did.

As for the claim that my exposing her attempt at reasoning like an adult as in fact riddled with fallacies is "considerably less mature than the logic of a 15-year old," note that, again, the Brave Anon is wrong. The error here is a false claim to authority. Anon has proved that she is not capable of discerning good reasoning from bad in her own post, but then presents herself as an authority able to pronounce on the "maturity" of a 15 year-old's "logic."

Of course, this is to say nothing about the ineptness of the terms used, especially "mature." A formal piece of reasoning is not typically characterized as "mature" or not. Pieces of reasoning are properly evaluated according purely *logical* properties: validity, soundness, cogency, et al.

The Courageous Anon holds that whatever she doesn't understand is therefore "dime-store psychobabble." Yet another in what is becoming a long list of failed inferences from her.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm not going to debate with someone who resorts to sophomoric jabberwocky as evidence of of their staggering intellect. I'm unimpressed with your banal academic credentia, and I refuse to argue with imbeciles - you'd only drag me down to your level, and then kill me with experience. Since you continue to insist on avoiding my invitation to tell Billy Joel what you think of him in person, let's go back to the original colorful, colloquial tone of this asinine waste of my time. I have given you ample opportunity to respond, but you are obviously still a gutless coward, just as I discerned earlier on. I'll ask you one more time - do you want to tell Billy Joel your opinion of him to his face or not ? If not - then shut the fuck up. This is my final offer.

Spiros said...

The Brave Anon's most recent contribution to our discussion is truly remarkable! She thinks that couching a baldly false assertion in fancier-than-usual jargon mitigates its falseness. Thus she once again proves herself to be an inept reasoner.

To simply declare a piece of reasoning "sophomoric jabberwocky" is to simply call names; it is *not* to score a logical point, no matter how many times you consulted your dictionary in composing the declaration.

The wise Anon then criticizes this thread for being an "asinine waste of [her] time"! I have no doubt that this has been a waste of her time, since she has proven again and again to be unable to follow the most basic bit of reasoning. So my repeated (and ongoing) attempts to try to help her by explaining to her (very slowly) why she fails have come to nothing. Oh well. The world needs sandwiches.

But perhaps the most amusing part of all of this is that the most fundamental point is entirely lost on the Brave Anon: Whether Billy Joel is a complete failure as an songwriter and a waste of a human being is *not* something that can be decided by fighting him. Nor is it something that can be decided by seeing whether I am willing to say this sort of thing to Billy Joel's face.

So: to answer directly the Courageous Anon's question ("do you want to tell Billy Joel your opinion of him to his face or not?"), the answer is no. Does that make me a "gutless coward" (note the redundancy)? Absolutely not.

To wit: There are all kinds of true things that one could say about another that it would be inappropriate to say to that person's face. Why go out of my way to hurt Billy's feelings so much? Doubtless he would be unable to respond compellingly to my powerful arguments against his body of work. He would no doubt prove unable to recover from my incisive criticisms. Not even Billy Joel deserves to be humiliated in this way by me. His life is doubtless bad enough already. So let's take pity on him: his entire life has been devoted to producing art, and he has failed wholly and without qualification. He must realize by now that he has contributed nothing. Pity the poor guy.

Lastly, the Brave Anon claims that unless I am willing to abandon my overflowing generosity and humiliate Billy Joel by proving to him how much of a failure he is in everything he has aspired to do, I must "shut the fuck up." I reply: No.

Anonymous said...

Spare me your eloquence, Winston. You've already shut the fuck up because I'm not listening anymore. Bye!

Spiros said...

"Spare me your eloquence, Winston. You've already shut the fuck up because I'm not listening anymore. Bye!"

So typical. So inept. If Anon's not listening to me is sufficient for my having "shut the fuck up," then the command to "shut the fuck up" that she issued is literally meaningless. In fact, it's another instance of *performative contradiction*: to command someone to "shut the fuck up" is to acknowledge that he is talking. Yet, on Courageous Anon's analysis, for one to "shut the fuck up" is simply for him to lose his audience!

But note also the typical cowardly tactic. Discovering that she is utterly beyond her depth in this exchange, and has no hope of doing anything other than embarrass herself further, Anon issues a last insult and then departs. The insult is a failure, and although her departure from the exchange is presented as her taking the high road, it's really just a way to try to save face in light of crushing defeat and utter humiliation.

Nice job, Anon! You've done a much better job than I could have at supporting my hypothesis that all Billy Joel fans are complete morons!