Wednesday, February 20, 2008

"Linguistic Accomplishments"?

From the Sunday Herald.

A PRAGUE brothel offering free sex and the chance of internet stardom is providing men with a novel style of sexual recreation. The formula of the Big Sister brothel in the Czech capital's Old Town is simplicity itself: entry is free and patrons can choose their playmates from an electronic database. [....]

To participate in the "fun and games" a punter has to show an ID card or passport and sign a contract accepting that the owners can film the intimate proceedings and use the footage as they please. After a payment of 10 (£7) for the use of a towel and slippers, he can choose a woman. The brothel's database caters for all tastes, and the choice can be made accordingly, based on facial or body image, breast size or linguistic accomplishments.

19 comments:

bones said...

Would the ability to fart "Mary had a Little Lamb" count as a linguistic accomplishment?

Spiros said...

Definitely not!

Seriously: What could this mean?

Anonymous said...

most likely something lame along the lines of which the woman in question could speak other languages, thus, being somewhat attractive to traveling Philosophers who are Hell Bent for Justice.

bones said...

My assumption would be, the languages spoken by the women. The weary traveler/customer/costar may feel more comfortable with someone who speaks his language

bones said...

If I may quote an old favorite Who song 905
Every idea in my head
someone else has said...

Spiros said...

Hell bent for JUSTICE!

Is speaking multiple languages a "linguistic achievement"?

Spiros said...

I agree that one might want a partner who speaks one's own language. But I still don't see that as a matter of "linguistic achievement."

Dr. Mo said...

Hold on there...It seems to me that *the ability to talk filthy* with verve and effectiveness in multiple languages is a *linguistic accomplishment.* I'm not understanding the complaints here.

I used to be able to talk really dirty in Russian over ten years ago (my ex was Russian). Believe me, learning *any Russian* is an accomplishment, and my ability to curse etc. effectively was no small thing.

This is not confuse *accomplishment* with *achievement* (in which one meets and surpasses some given standard). One can accomplish many things, fine or trivial, though how much of an achievement one's accomplishment really is,is another story. I couldn't pass first year Russian to save my life, but my ex was perfectly happy with what I had accomplished. I also knew whenever his mother was calling me a bitch *in my presence* (she was such a pizda herself).

Spiros said...

Dr. MO:

I agree. I just don't see how a command of multiple languages is a *linguistic* achievement.

Dr. Mo said...

Ohhh...I see the issue. The adjective "linguistic" has two distinct meanings: 1) of or related to language and also 2) of or relating to the scientific study of language. You were thinking (2), I assumed (1) from the get go.

Spiros said...

Perhaps that's it. But I guess, too, that *accomplishment* is problematic. Consider: say one of the employees of the brothel speaks 20 languages, but not English. Surely she is highly linguistically accomplished. Moreover, she's more accomplished than someone who speaks only English. So, if I'm choosing my cohort on the basis of "linguistic accomplishment," I should go with the former and not the latter.

Put otherwise: speaking *my* language is not necessarily an accomplishment at all.

Dr. Mo said...

Oh my, it seems that in your example, you ar enow busy running around in search of "linguistic accomplishment" like the guy looking for the player "team spirit."

(Ie., confused the Brothel's claim to offer women accomplished in multiple languages for those clients who have fetishes for specific languages, with the fetish for a specific language.)

Spiros said...

Dr. MO: (Ie., confused the Brothel's claim to offer women accomplished in multiple languages for those clients who have fetishes for specific languages, with the fetish for a specific language.)

SPIROS:
Is knowing how to speak, say, German, an "accomplishment in German"? Is knowing how to speak German sufficient for "being accomplished in German"? It seems to me that "linguistic accomplishment" means either (1) being accomplished in Linguistics or (2) having fluency in multiple languages.

The story say that "punters" (fucking Brits...) may choose women according to a range of criteria, among them "linguistic accomplishment." To choose a woman according to "linguistic accomplishment," however, is *not* to choose a woman according to *which* languages she speaks, but according to something like *how many* languages she speaks (or *with what fluency*, etc.).

Thus, the most linguistically accomplished woman might not be one who speaks one's native language. So, again, "linguistic accomplishment" seems an odd criterion to mention.

Anonymous said...

I'd have to say, that it would be quite the *Linguistic Accomplishment* to yell out *Tickle me four ways from Sunday* in multiple languages.

I'd be all over that...........

Spiros said...

Even if none of the languages was English?

Anonymous said...

That would be so hot......

Spiros said...

But how would you know that she was yelling *Tickle me four ways from Sunday*, rather than something like *I'm really into completely vanilla sexual practice*?

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Why did it take until the eighteenth comment for someone to allude to the always humorous concatenation of "cunning" and "linguist"? What the fuck?

Spiros said...

All too easy.