Monday, March 3, 2008

Doom, part 567

The local Christian store is selling t-shirts that say Jesus for President.

We're doomed.

25 comments:

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Jesus never even made it to 35. Disqualified! Also, I don't think you can vote for dead people. Or fictional characters. Otherwise I'd be votin' for motherfuckin' Chewbacca.

Spiros said...

One can vote for whoever one wants. Chewbacca... what a wookie!

Why doesn't Chewie get a medal at the end of Episode IV? Luke and Han do. Perhaps the Rebellion is fucking speciesist?


But seriously, "Jesus for President" is fucked.

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

They cut the scene where Chewie is awarded his life-time supply of Alpo. And C3P0 is given a golden penis made by the same dude who made the TinMan's heart.

Spiros said...

Shouldn't Chewie be wearing pants?

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Technically, he is. Wookie male-pattern baldness strikes from the waist down, and like 95% of all adult male wookies, Chewie never goes out with his Ultra-merkin Toupee Trousers.

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Corrected version:

Technically, he is. Wookie male-pattern baldness strikes from the waist down, and like 95% of all adult male wookies, Chewie never goes out WITHOUT his Ultra-merkin Toupee Trousers.

Spiros said...

Wookie merkins! Who'd have thought?

Impressive... most impressive.

BTW: The Jedi are the villains of the story.

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Tarkin's nuking of Alderaan is justified how???

Spiros said...

The Jedi are religious zealots engaged in a Holy War against the Republic, and a psychological war against level-headed citizens who otherwise are smart enough not to believe in religious fairy-tales like "The Force." The future of civilization requires that they be shut down.

The entire story is told from the perspective of the Jedi, with the intention of vindicating them. Notice that even the *vocabulary* is slanted towards vindicating the Jedi (no one from the Republic uses the term "Death Star," for example). Don't believe the hype!

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

Well, I'm not going to defend the Jedi, but the whole empire sucks Sith cock, which seem no better.

729 said...

Let's write in Philip Pettit.

I've never tried writing in a candidate, but what the hell?

Spiros said...

Whatever one thinks of the Sith, or the empire for that matter, the Jedi are evil. The entire organization is hierarchical, based in blood-lines and the presence of some unobservable property ("The Force"), nowhere close to gender equality, et al. When Han in Episode IV poses a challenge to the thesis of The Force, Obi-Wan (the real villain) simply laughs. So typical of religious cults and the fanatics they breed. No religious hierarchy is truly in favor of democracy and justice.

Spiros said...

729: You haven't really exercised your citizenship until you've written someone in. I've frequently written myself in.

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

I still want a lightsaber.

Spiros said...

*meow*

729 said...

Writing YOU in. Now, that's an idea!

Spiros said...

729:

I'd encourage you to do so, but in this election, I think everyone (Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Socialist, Independent, et al) has a moral obligation to vote for the Democrat based in a moral obligation to do whatever is in one's power to ensure that the Republicans do not get rewarded for the past 8 years.

729 said...

True Dat!

Spiros said...

729:

When dealing with people who treat a *very narrow and controversial victory* as a "mandate from the people" and "political capital," one needs to do what's in one's power to send the clearest, most unambiguous smack down of all time.

Imipolex_G-Unit said...

"When dealing with people who treat a *very narrow and controversial victory* as a "mandate from the people" and "political capital," one needs to do what's in one's power to send the clearest, most unambiguous smack down of all time."

Like blow-up Alderaan?

Spiros said...

"Like blow-up Alderaan?"

Blame Lea for that. BTW: She's a *princess*-- royalty are of course well-known for caring about justice and equality....

Santa said...

Spirs: With regards to the 2008election, I implore everybody to think about what voting Democrat brought us in the 2006 elections.

With a clear mandate that we wanted a change from the 9/11 hysteria and paranoia of a government that treats the innocent as guilty until proven innocent and promoting the "ends justify the means" type of legal and realpolitik reasoning in direct violation of our national ideals, the Democratic majority failed the American voter in not repealing a bunch of failed policies & scary laws as well as bringing to justice those who used a horrific event as an excuse for an unadulterated power grab and a disastrous foreign policy.

The Democrats in Congress have shown themselves to be cowards in defending democracy, liberty as espoused by Thomas Jefferson, and our Constitution. While the argument could be made that the Democrats did not have enough of a majority, they could have made their case with the American people to support their cause and pressure enough of the Republican minority to help them correct these wrongs.

In such a quandry about what to do, I say vote out of office all the incumbents who abdicated their responsibility to correcting these wrongs. This way none of the cowards, both Democrat & Republican, are rewarded for supporting the bad policies of the last 7 years.

Spiros said...

Santa:

I agree with your assessment of the Democrats. So I'm not arguing that one should vote for them because they'll be better. One should vote for them in order to avoid *rewarding* the Republicans, a *reelected* Republican party will be *worse* than it is at present. A defeat for the Republicans is crucial if we're to get the country back on track (note: electing the Dems is in my view a necessary, but definitely not sufficient condition for this).

The best you as an individual voter can do to defeat the Reps is to vote Dem.

Santa said...

Spiros: As much as I agree with you, I think a necessary addendum is for people to actively vote out of office those Dems that aided and abetted the republicans in passing the Patriot Act as well as defending the practice of waterboarding, etc. Otherwise we are also rewarding those Democrats for being cowards and patsies. Where is the Bull-Moose party when you need it?

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