I've mentioned previously that, despite being at my current university for what many would call a long time, I know nearly nobody outside of my department. And I like it that way.
Just now, I was walking to my office, and was greeted by one of the countless fellow faculty members I've passed innumerable times in the halls of my building but do not know. Today, she decided to try to chat me up. She said,
Hi. What a beautiful afternoon! You know, I've been seeing you around for at least 8 years-- you're almost always in your office-- and we've never really met. Are you some kind of academic misanthrope?
I answered coldly, Yes-- 'academic misanthrope' sums it up well. I know almost no one at this university.
Nervously laughing as if I'd been joking, she replied, Well, tell me how you do it. You're here all the time, but apparently are never asked to serve on committees, or do other things that usually result in mingling with other faculty! How is it that you're here all the time but know nobody?
I responded, Well, my colleagues generally do not trust my judgment, so I'm never asked to do committee work, and otherwise I try not to talk to people.
She again started laughing nervously, as if I was trying to be funny. Then she saw that I was not smiling. She replied, Wow... , and before she could continue the thought, I said, Good day, and walked away.
That's the kind of dick I am.