Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Overheard at Whole Foods

I've never actually bought anything from Whole Foods, but I do on occasion make some time to walk around there, just to watch how powerful identity-marketing is. People who shop there seem to really have invested themselves in it: food shopping is for them something like a social event. Whole Foods is where they meet up with their friends, hang out, bring their kids, and so on.

Anyway, last night I overheard a woman, a 2008 equivalent of a yuppie (someone please coin a word for this new breed), saying to whoever was on the other end of her cellphone, "Yeah... I'm at Whole Foods. Where are you? Ok. They're giving out wheat grass shots tonight.... They taste like poo." Yet she continued drinking.

21 comments:

bones said...

Wheatgrass is awesome! I drink it because I like the taste.

Spiros said...

Apparently she didn't, but liked the *idea* of drinking it.... Maybe because it was free?

bones said...

or that its considered trendy. dumb follower

Spiros said...

Hey, man! Whole Foods is a way of life. That's why they call it "whole"!

The Brooks Blog said...

Hilarious!

Spiros said...

Brooks:

Thanks.

I should mention that the parking lot of the Whole Foods is always *filled* with gigantic SUVs.

Santa said...

The story about the lass on the pphone seems to illustrate a certain disconnect people have nowadays where they are learning to like things that they hate just in order to identify with a trend. Seems silly, unless of course she is also into making shitzer videos as well.

Spiros said...

Santa,

"We're learning to love the things that we hate," as Justin Sullivan has argued.

729 said...

Spiros:

Whole Foods = Meat Market (pick-up joint)

(I'm surprised none of you seem to know this.)

Spiros said...

729:

Really? Wow. I guess I'm not surprised-- it really is a haven for privileged yuppies who like the *ideas* of environmentalism and fair trade, but don't want to make any sacrifices.

729 said...

I "shop" in Whole Foods nearly every day.

Spiros said...

729:

Interesting... Does yours have a "performance space" where 3rd rate jazz combos (try to) play bland standards?

729 said...

Wow, your Whole Foods is an even better Meat Market than mine. Unabashedly so. All we get is really funky (and actually good) satellite radio. Whole Foods operations all have local "flavors." "Shopping" tonight yielded nothing interesting, but I did buy a pound of fiddleheads, a New England delicacy that neither the Shaws or Stop-n-Shops offer, making the trip entirely worthwhile.

Spiros said...

Interesting.... Mine also has a WF "culinary school" on its second floor, where cooking and wine tasting classes are offered. If I were single, I'd be prowling *that* shit like nobody's business....

jerk said...

So, if she said it tastes like poo, yet continues to drink it. One question comes to mind.

Does she do ATM?

Spiros said...

Jerk,

Yes. But you have to package it in a context of trendy enviro-chic and third-world salvation.

Santa said...

Jerk: As I always said to the vegan posse at WPC that used to try and convert me to vegetarianism: If you have a moral problem with killing "life" in order for your body to live, may I suggest eating your own poo or rocks since that is really the only "non-living" things left to eat since plants, last time I checked, were alive.

Maybe those people are one step closer to taking my advice on the poo part.

Spiros: Slade the Leveller was right in that regard. Forgot about that lyric, thanks for reminding me.

Spiros said...

Santa:

Sometimes even Justin Sullivan gets something right.....

To bad he hasn't yet gotten right the fact that it's time for him to give up on the whole NMA thing and just do solo acoustic stuff. Wanker.

Santa said...

Spiros: Indeed Justin Sullivan is now a wanker. One time I saw him perform with his band, they did a cover of The Doors' The End and a segway into of the songs off of the Who's Who's Next album. When I commented loudly that he should play something good, I got the stink eye from him. Self important hump should play in a cover band then rather than play bad renditions of cover tunes with a bunch of mediocre musicians that are no match to NMA in its prime and have the audacity to charge money for the wank session.

Spiros said...

Santa,

Nicely put. The best days of New Model Army are long behind us. Now it's just pretending.

And their hero-worshiping fans, like Deadheads, taking orders from the band and co. (Joolz), are pathetic. I sometimes wander over to the NMA Noticeboard just for laughs. Then I get nauseous.

Ben said...

Ah Whole Foods the multi national wolf in organic wool clothing. Delivering the total life style look for fat waged bollock brained sheep who believe through this repackaged, unreformed supermarket business model they are doing their bit for the ecology of the world. Like feck they are. If they had any sense they would get their arses down to Walmart and save some money while still lining the pockets of the fat cats.
Too opinionated?