A beloved reader writes in to remind me of another notable occasion on which I overheard something outrageous in the halls of the academy. This was overheard many years ago, back when they'd just introduced vending machines that could take dollar bills...
A student was feeding a dollar bill to the vending machine, and I heard him say only slightly under his breath: Yeah... take it bitch... you love it.
How many things are wrong with that?
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2 comments:
Surely it's dangerous for young folks to make associations like this -- when he, perchance, has some real sex, he'll be expecting cheetos and change!
And vending machines do not deserve this kind of degrading treatment -- if one's going to treat inanimate objects as dominated sex partners, it must be parking meters. Witness: "Here comes a dime...Ungh! ... you like the dimes? How about a nickel? ... Uhng! Oh... I have a quarter... you think it's too big? Wait for it... Ooooh. There you go. Shhhh. I'll see you again in 45 minutes. And don't go blinking early, you hear me?"
This isn't something I heard, but read in a paper for my philosophy of law class. After reading about how to interpret a 'statue' (perhaps the writer thought it was an aesthetics class?), I was treated to this gem, one of the best homophonic malapropisms/ mondagreens I've ever encountered firsthand:
"This term represents a legal concept known as criminal liability or in lame men’s terms what is needed to establish guilt."
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