I was just on the phone with a friend who by choice went the community college track with her career. It's a noble thing to do for those who feel that they're well equipped for it. She teaches more classes in a semester than I teach in two years, and teaches more undergrads in a semester than I teach in probably three years. She generally finds it fulfilling, but every once in a while calls to vent about the administration, the department, the students, and the other bullshit. This evening, after a long and depressing tale about the stupid administrators who apparently are in total control of her college, she began sharing amusing first lines of student papers. It's a guilty pleasure, to be sure. There were several howlers, including a quite graphic sentence about Aristotle and strippers (apparently Aristotle got into pony-play later in his life, but that;s another matter). But none of those mentioned tonight comes close to one I heard many, many years ago:
In this paper, I will argue that the mind is identical to the body, but not the other way around.
Simple. Beautiful. Classic.