Monday, August 30, 2010

Cinematic DOOM!!!

What the fuck??? Robert Rodriguez has directed a film titled Machete (2010) featuring has-been sellout Robert De Niro and the long-time lumbering oaf misogynist wannabe cop Steven Seagal. Has anyone seen this film? I urge you to report on it here.

Please end the world now.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

All I can say is, the previews on youtube look pretty rad, in a terrible sort of way.

PA said...

De Niro and Seagal? What next? Al Pacino and Jaleel White?

Quentin said...

You know, this film started out as a fake trailer at the beginning of the Deathproof/Planet Terror double feature. That was hilarious ("They fucked with the wrong Mexican!"). This may not be --- sorta like a 5-minute SNL sketch that gets made into a 95-minute movie.

Anonymous said...

It's based on a fake trailer that was part of his (2007) Planet Terror, which was amazing. If it's anything like PT, Machete's meant to be deliberately bad - a send up of / homage to exploitation films.

Anonymous said...

Seagal talks DOOM:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yr-F8z74KM

Anonymous said...

A propos of absolutely nothing (except the earlier thread devoted to Sting's bad music), the latest New Yorker has the best poem I've ever seen (I thought of Spiros when I read it):

The title is:

ON THE INEVITABLE DECLINE INTO MEDIOCRITY OF THE POPULAR MUSICIAN WHO ATTAINS A COMFORTABLE MIDDLE AGE

The author is one David Musgrave.

The text itself reads, simply:

"O Sting, where is thy death?"

Anonymous said...

If the world survived Sex and the City 2...

On the other hand, I'm not convinced that we did make it.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:48--

Absent the claim of near-plagiarism, why would the original quote not suffice as satire with just appropriate capitalization for "Sting"? And it would have the plus of not being quite so personal. Well, maybe not. But at least more satirically minimalist--which is what the author was attempting. And best poem you've seen? I take that itself as self-mocking hyperbolic satire.

I know you're only rock-and-rolling, but I like it.

(I'd remind readers to re-read Spiros' mantle for the blog--especially the "kook-magnet" part.)

Anonymous said...

I'm anon 10:58 again, ass even wiser than before:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/02/machete.rstone/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Rolling Stone likes it--and I must say the prospect of seeing Danny Trejo fuck Lindsay Lohan and her mom (!!??) holds a bit of intrigue for me if nothing else. I shoulda known if Rodriguez was directing it might be redeemable. ..

Now to get those syllabi ready for tomorrow. . .