I was in a chain bookstore this afternoon and they were playing the truly horrific new Sting album, Symphonicities. You guessed it: "symphonic" renderings of classic Sting hits, including some Police staples. I sat in a comfy chair and listened to the whole thing.
What a pathetic piece of money-grabbing shite. The best part of "I Burn for You" is of course omitted. I'd go so far as to say that Sting's new album makes the Police a worse band.
Ronnie Dworkin once argued in favor of euthanasia on the grounds that a bad ending to a long life can ruin the the whole life that came before. If memory serves, his view had the unwelcome consequence that one might be morally permitted (obligated?) to end the life of a quite content Alzheimer's patient simply to save the integrity of the life that came before the disease took hold. I have now gained a new appreciation for that argument.
Someone please stop Sting.
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11 comments:
kyle maclachlan stopped him once...
A drink for Spiros after his experience.
Eau de Police on the Rock:
Ingredients:
sing, sang, sung
stink, stank, stunk
Sting, stang, stung
pronouns
helping of verbs
spicy adjectives to taste
Add appropriate past and present tense auxiliary verbs as needed and sprinkle in pronouns and adjectives. Shake thoroughly and serve with exactly one Ice Cube as accompaniment.
It reminds me of Aristotle on whether what your descendants do after your die can affect your eudaimonia. Can what a frontman does in his current solo-projects change whether a band was good in the past?
If it was so bad, then why did you sit and listen to the whole thing?
That was nothing compared to the wholesale slaughter he committed against Dowland's madrigals on this piece of trash:
http://www.amazon.com/Songs-Labyrinth-John-Dowland/dp/B000HXDESU
I second your call. Kill him soon.
Didn't he always spend his summers carrying luggage for the Man?
A review from Entertainment Weekly, via Metacritic:
"Is it possible that Sting made 2006's lute-powered Songs From the Labyrinth just so the orchestra-featuring revamps of his back catalog contained here would seem less pretentious by comparison? If so, the plan hasn't worked — there are only a few moments when Symphonicities doesn't seem completely preposterous. Worst of all is a string-slathered version of "Roxanne" that strips the pop classic of its reggaefied beat, its stench of narrative desperation, and its entire appeal."
Not quite as pithy as the review of Spinal Tap's Shark Sandwich, but it gets the point across.
No doubt this will soon become a staple of PBS fundraisers, along with Yanni and the like.
I dunno... when your descendants trash your legacy, that can cast you in a bad light. When you trash your legacy, you may be casting a fresh light on the legacy. Sting enables us to see that the Police were just not that good to start with. Thanks Sting!
If this is the last comment, will it ruin the whole thread?
This episode -- http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/03/26/1174761326954.html -- is when I realized that Sting is nothing more and nothing less than a complete and utter douche. In my opinion his only real legacy is to give John Edward a run for his money with regard to the title of biggest douche in the universe. He is a pretentious, self-important, faux-sensitive, faux-enlightened, day-long-orgasm-faking, bag of bullshit whose actual talent is so dwarfed by his sense of his own talent as to lead one's mind to boggle at the scale.
If someone does euthanize him, I recommend crucifixion. He might even help you to do it.
Read the New Yorker poem, p. 52, by David Musgrave, in the new August 30 issue. Genius.
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