Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Law of the Academy #2541

The most outspoken environmentalist in your department is also the one who lives furthest from campus and drives the biggest car.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not always ours lives only a block from campus, but still drives to work almost every day.

Anonymous said...

Not ours. He lives close and bikes. But I hate the environment and I live 30 miles away and I drive every day.

Anonymous said...

Are you aiming for a side gig at Slate?

gehenus said...

And they smoke unfiltered Pall Malls.

Anonymous said...

Try to live close to campus, on a professor's salary, when
(a) the school is in a big American city with astronomical real estate prices for anything of decent size in a decent area,
(b) the school is 2nd rate and doesn't pay all that well.

You don't need to be a fucking environmentalist to live far, far from school. You only need to be a sane, rational human being.

Anonymous said...

I recommend on the basis of carbon printing that you start calling him or her "Prof. Bigfoot".

wv: coninate; as the property Casey Anthony will not instantiate

PA said...

Hold it! Hold it! These are Spiros' actual colleagues. Surely we can use this information to figure out where Spiros works and uncover his identity.

Anonymous said...

Think Rutgers

anonymouse said...

PA: Right! Let's narrow this down: which departments contains hypocritical douchebags, popular-but-ineffective teachers, and cranky jerks? We are so close! If he would just add a non-productive-senior-member-who-won't-retire, then we would know for sure!

Anonymous said...

"which departments contains hypocritical douchebags, popular-but-ineffective teachers, and cranky jerks?"

Philosophy departments. But we already knew that. :D

Anonymous said...

After considerable research I'm almost certain that Spiros works at Vanderbilt.

Anonymous said...

Ditto. This describes me...and my SUV.

Anonymous said...

When you look at the environmental costs involved in producing hybrid vehicles, you're better off with an suv anyway.

Anonymous said...

These laws are spot on in my department. Maybe Spiros is the guy in the office next door?

Anonymous said...

Is the guy in the office next door an ancient grumpy crank who should retire already?

Anonymous said...

In my department the environmentalist who owns the gas-guzzler and lives far away uses those facts to justify her never being in her office or at meetings!

Anonymous said...

Anon 7pm is correct, and S's real initials are RBT.

Stinky the Stagirite said...

Yeah, but at least ours makes up for that carbon footprint by not bathing.

Anonymous said...

potential clue to the code?

"2541... big windows to let in the sun."

Anonymous said...

Spiros = Grant Hart

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